Barry Kirsch, I Want My Afternoon Back

With the Moog switched to the BORING setting for almost all twelve cuts on this record, I am quietly confident that I will never have cause to listen to this super dull, sometimes shambolic piece of musical history ever again. But for all that, I'm glad I've got it, and I'm glad it exists.

And how could I not buy the record with a title like "Great Hits Of The 70s Moog Style."

The cover design too is worthy of mention. Not the most vibrant disco scene I've ever seen...

Aside from the one brave and possibly drugged protagonist in the centre of the cover, the remnants of the sadly forlorn club dance-floor are, to put it politely, flagging a little.

Side 1:

The Wombling Song. A fairly tight band performance. But what's the point? A dismal way to open up an album.

Waterloo (of course, of Abba fame) Tragic drumming at the start of this. Both drummer and the bass player appear to be drunk. And who can blame them.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree features the most un-Moog sounding Moog I have ever heard, more Bontempi to these ears. The percussion that assaults and indeed insults the listener, panned extreme right, sounds like a frisky geriatric making love to a blancmange.

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep So bad I love it. I have friends who I wish were in the room with me now as it plays. The band must have been pissing themselves whilst they recorded this beast. The drummer does his best to up the ante with some choice blue note-esque drum fills, but nothing will shift this track from the "file under C for crud" category.

Long Haired Lover From Liverpool. Shave him.

Billy Don't Be A Hero Cod military drums launch this turkey. The Moog sounds slightly cooler here, with a more reverby and expansive voicing. The electric guitarist plays the one lick they've given him, often and with feeling. A desperate feeling.

side 2:

Jambalaya A mess from the outset. As the guitarist pretends he's in the Eagles, the Moog shows off more choice settings. The flutter-tone catastrophe that's unleashed for the final bars of the tune really takes the biscuit; sounds like Buck Rogers drowning in a tumble drier.

You Won't Find Another Fool Like Me I believe you

Nothing Rhymed The Gilbert O' Sullivan tune. Could have been re-titled "Nothing Gelled." Solid drumming I guess. Until the end, where it isn't.

Daniel I just had a vision of kids playing "pass the parcel" to this. It's truly grotesque, out of tune and throughly depressing. The kind of record that could haunt the record player that played it.

I See A Star I don't, I see the neighbours coming 'round to ask what the hell I'm doing playing this record. The Moog seems to develop some kind of electrical fault on the latter stages of the track.

Amazing Grace. Without doubt the most experimental of the whole album, and to think it was the one I was looking forward to the least (let there be a life lesson here for all of us.) The track is comprised entirely by stacked up Moog parts. I like it. Like a poor man's John Baker (of BBC Radiophonic Workshop fame) though John Baker of course, achieved music light years beyond this, and in the pre- synth generation. Still, at least there is something vaguely interesting about it, unlike the other eleven tracks.

Details:

Artist: Barry Kirsch

Album: Great Hits Of The 70's Moog Style

Label: Contour 2870 413

Year: 1974